For the drama-loving beachgoer who's definitely innocent (but just in case)…
The I'm Only Here to Establish My Alibi Black Cotton Beach Bag is your cheeky companion for conspicuous relaxation with a dash of suspicious timing. With bold white text that’s equal parts playful and incriminating, it’s the perfect accessory for anyone whose vibe screams “casual” while their presence screams “plot twist.”
Made from 100% black cotton and fully washable, this tote is built to carry snacks, sunscreen, and a stack of carefully curated books you can’t finish because you’re busy “not doing anything shady.” At approximately 18.5" W x 13" H x 4" D (47 cm x 33 cm x 10 cm), it’s spacious enough for beach day essentials and plausible deniability.
The high-contrast print pops like a flashbulb in a noir mystery—subtle? Never. Memorable? Always. Whether you’re sipping iced coffee at the shoreline or loitering just long enough to be noticed, this bag does the heavy lifting while you casually nail your timeline.
Suspiciously stylish. Dangerously funny. Totally innocent. Probably.