Brew a cup with a touch of the macabre. Our Skull and Bones Silicone Tea Infuser is a delightfully spooky companion for your daily ritual, steeping your favorite loose‑leaf blends with ease and a hint of gothic charm.

Crafted from pure, food‑safe silicone, this eerie little skull is built to withstand temperatures from –40°F to 446°F (–40°C to 230°C), making it as durable as it is enchanting. Simply fill it with your preferred tea—green, black, herbal, or your own witchy concoction—drop it into your mug, and let the magic steep.

Compact and convenient at approximately 1.81 × 1.81 inches (4.6 × 4.6 cm), it’s the perfect size for single‑cup brewing and a fun conversation starter for any tea lover with a darker aesthetic.

Whether you’re settling in for a quiet afternoon or brewing something special for a friend, this skull‑shaped infuser brings a playful dose of the strange and beautiful to every cup.

Meet the blend that built the legend. Go The F*ck To Sleep is ModestMix’s flagship bestseller, boasting thousands of five‑star reviews across their sales channels. This soothing, caffeine‑free blend is packed with calming botanicals and crafted for those nights when your brain refuses to shut the hell up. It’s smooth, delicious, and beloved by customers who swear it’s become their nightly ritual.

Whether you’re winding down after a long day, trying to quiet the chaos in your head, or simply craving something warm and comforting before bed, this blend shows up ready to tuck you in with attitude and aromatics.

Seriously
Drink a cup of this relaxing‑as‑fuck tea
Shut down your shit and take some deep breaths
Boom, you’re sleeping

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

100% organic ginger, ashwagandha root, all-spice, chamomile, lavender, rose hips, fennel seed, licorice root

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

When life feels like it’s coming at you from all angles, Chill the F*ck Out is the blend that steps in with a deep exhale and a whole lot of flavor. This caffeine‑free herbal mix is beautifully complex and smooth as hell, pairing exotic cardamom with marshmallow root, licorice root, and a refreshing kiss of mint. Add in botanicals traditionally used for grounding and clarity — like ashwagandha and gotu kola — and you’ve got a cup that feels like a reset button in liquid form.

It’s warm, balanced, slightly sweet, and downright fan‑fucking‑tastic. Perfect for evenings, stressful days, or any moment when you need to unclench your jaw and reclaim your chill.

Are you stressed
Take a deep breath and drink this calming‑as‑fuck tea
Flip stress the double‑bird

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic ashwagandha root, organic ginger, organic fennel seed, organic marshmallow root, organic peppermint, organic gotu kola, organic cardamom, organic licorice root, organic peppercorn

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

The Espressocist summons a rich, velvety espresso experience with a depth that borders on supernatural. This traditional espresso roast blends 100% Arabica beans from Latin America into a cup that’s bold, smooth, and beautifully complex. Notes of caramel sweetness and nutty undertones rise first, followed by a clean finish that leaves behind the warm, lingering taste of toasted almonds—a flavor that feels both comforting and just a little bit wicked.

Crafted for espresso lovers who crave a thick, luxurious crema and a shot with real presence, The Espressocist delivers a brew that’s as intense as it is refined. Whether you’re pulling a straight shot, crafting a macchiato, or building the perfect latte, this blend brings balance, body, and a touch of dark charm to every cup.

Coffee Info

• Format: Whole Bean
• Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
• Roast Level: Traditional Espresso Roast
• Bean Origin: Latin America
• Flavor Profile: Caramel • Nutty • Toasted Almond Finish
• Body: Rich & Velvety with Thick Crema
• Ideal For: Espresso, moka pot, AeroPress, lattes, cappuccinos
• Vibe: Smooth, complex, and deliciously intense

When your hormones decide to reenact a demolition derby inside your body, Hormone Shitshow steps in with a botanical lineup designed for grounding, comfort, and calm. This caffeine‑free blend brings together herbs traditionally used to support balance and ease during hormonal chaos — whether it’s PMS, perimenopause, menopause, or just a random Tuesday where everything feels unhinged.

Ashwagandha and chasteberry anchor the blend with earthy depth, while black cohosh and red clover add a smooth, soothing richness. Chamomile and lavender help soften the edges of frazzled nerves, peppermint brings a refreshing lift, and licorice root adds natural sweetness and warmth. The result is a comforting, floral‑herbal cup that feels like someone finally found the “calm the hell down” switch.

This is your botanical intervention for when your hormones are throwing chairs and lighting emotional dumpsters on fire.

Your hormones are on a fucked‑up
roller coaster designed by a
drunk toddler with anger issues
This tea is the emergency brake
that gets you off Satan’s tilt‑a‑whirl

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic ashwagandha root (ginseng), organic chamomile, organic chasteberry (vitex), organic black cohosh root, organic red clover, organic peppermint, organic licorice root, organic lavender

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

When your body is throwing a full‑scale tantrum, The Notorious V.A.G. steps in with softness, strength, and a whole lot of attitude. This caffeine‑free blend is crafted with botanicals traditionally used for comfort and relaxation, making it a go‑to for days when you’re crampy, sore, bloated, or just feeling like your uterus is plotting against you. It’s also a delicious choice any time you want something soothing, grounding, and naturally sweet.

This blend brings together hibiscus, rooibos, chamomile, rose hips, raspberry leaf, and licorice root, creating a smooth, floral, slightly tart cup that feels like a warm hug with a wink. Cramp bark adds an earthy depth, making this a favorite for post‑workout sips or anytime your body needs a little extra kindness.

Comforting, delicious, and unapologetically fierce — just like you.

Never apologize for being a powerful woman
Even when your uterus is in a full‑on rage
This tea helps you ride out the storm

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic rooibos, organic raspberry leaf, organic orange peel, organic cramp bark, organic hibiscus, organic chamomile, organic rose hips, organic licorice root

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

Meet the blend that turns every hot day into a party. Rad as Fuck is ModestMix’s all‑time favorite cold brew and iced tea blend — and for good reason. This caffeine‑free beauty brews into a gorgeous crimson red, tastes like a juicy summer dream, and somehow manages to be a hit with adults and kids. Parents especially love it because it’s flavorful, refreshing, and naturally sweet without any of the processed nonsense.

This blend gets its sweetness from real green stevia leaf — straight from the garden, not the over‑processed white powder mixed with fillers. Add in hibiscus, orange peel, ginger, and lemongrass, and you’ve got a vibrant, tangy, lightly sweet brew that’s damn near irresistible. It even makes incredible popsicles (add a splash of OJ and thank us later).

Bright, bold, refreshing as hell — this blend is summer in a cup.

Shine your light bright
Be bold. Be bright. Be badass
You are so fucking rad
You light up this world

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

100% organic hibiscus, ginger, lemongrass, orange peel, stevia leaf

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

When your body feels like it’s brewing its own personal storm, Thunder Cunt is the blend that shows up with unapologetic power. Built on a bold yerba mate base, this mix brings together a lineup of botanicals chosen for their grounding, comforting, and energizing qualities. It’s crafted for days when you feel crampy, cloudy, bloated, or just plain over it — the moments when you need something strong, steady, and a little bit wild.

Smooth, earthy, and deeply satisfying, this blend is your storm‑calming companion. Whether you’re riding out a rough cycle, a rough mood, or a rough day, Thunder C*nt is here to help you reclaim your fire.

Honor your wild strength
Your body is a fierce force
When cramps strike like lightning and
you’re feeling bloated, drained, and stormy
Thunder C*nt to the rescue

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic yerba mate, organic peppermint, organic raspberry leaf, organic chamomile, organic ginger, organic cramp bark, organic lemon balm (melissa), organic chasteberry (vitex), organic yarrow flower

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

If you love a dirty chai, get ready to meet its mischievous cousin. Dirty Earl takes classic Earl Grey and turns up the decadence by blending it with chicory, cacao, and dandelion. The result is a rich, velvety cup with the depth of coffee, the brightness of bergamot, and a whisper of vanilla that lingers like a secret.

Simple ingredients, wildly complex flavor. Smooth, dark, aromatic, and straight‑up irresistible. Whether you drink it hot, iced, or as your new morning ritual, Dirty Earl delivers a cup that feels indulgent without trying too hard. One sip and you’ll understand why this blend has a reputation.

Oh Earl, you dirty tease
What a sinfully smooth indulgence you are
Rolling shamelessly in cacao, vanilla,
exotic roots and tempting blooms
You’re irresistible — I need you in my cup

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic Earl Grey, Organic Chicory Root, Organic Cacao Nibs, Organic Dandelion Root, Organic Calendula Flowers, Organic Blue Cornflowers, Organic Vanilla Essence

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

Bright, bold, and naturally sweet, Juicy Ass is here to hype you up and treat you right. This refreshing blend combines green tea, hibiscus, and lemon for a vibrant cup that’s delicious hot or iced. Thanks to its naturally sweet profile, you can skip the sugar and still enjoy a full‑flavored, juicy brew.

This blend brings together ingredients that complement an active, energized lifestyle, making it a great companion for days when you want to feel a little lighter, a little brighter, or just a little more like the hot piece of magic you already are. Whether you’re chasing goals or simply craving something delicious, Juicy Ass shows up with sass and support.

Got extra junk in that trunk
Need a little “ass”ist
Drink this tea
Be nice to yourself
You’re hot AF just as you are

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

100% organic chun-mee green tea, hibiscus, cinnamon, lemon peel, orange peel, milk thistle seed, lemongrass, stevia leaf

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

Celebrate your greatness with a blend that refuses to be subtle about it. You’re Fucking Awesome is a vibrant yerba mate mix brightened with tangy hibiscus, lemongrass, a touch of mint, warm cinnamon, and a hint of natural sweetness. It’s refreshing, bold, and ridiculously good whether you drink it hot or iced.

This is the tea for days when you need a reminder of exactly who you are — someone magnetic, unstoppable, and entirely too fabulous to be doubted. Every sip is a little victory lap, a little pep talk, and a whole lot of delicious attitude.

Everyone wants to be you
If someone says you’re not awesome
Tell them to eat a bowl of dicks
You rock. Drink awesome tea.

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic yerba mate, organic hibiscus, organic cinnamon, organic rose hips, organic orange peel, organic lemongrass, organic peppermint, organic holy basil trinity (rama, vana, krishna)

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

Wake up with intention, clarity, and a whole lot of attitude. Woke as Fuck is a bold black tea blend layered with bright mint and zesty lemon, creating a cup that’s as refreshing as it is commanding. To turn things up even further, ModestMix adds a powerhouse trio of botanicals — rosemary, ginkgo, and eleuthero root — for a flavor profile that’s herbaceous, invigorating, and ready to help you take on the day.

This is the blend for leaders, truth‑seekers, and anyone who walks into a room already knowing what’s up. Smooth, vibrant, and unapologetically strong, it’s crafted for mornings when you need your brain fully online and your spirit fully lit.

You know what’s up
You’re a leader with your fist held high
You know your truth
This tea fires you up

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic assam black tea, organic ginkgo biloba, organic eleuthero root (ginseng), organic lemongrass, organic spearmint, organic lemon peel, organic rosemary

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

For those who believe chai should come with a little more punch, a little more spice, and a whole lot more attitude, Chai F*cking Harder lives up to its name. This bold blend starts with a base of yerba mate and black tea, creating a smooth, energizing foundation that’s anything but ordinary.

From there, ModestMix layers in all the classic chai spices you crave: cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, fennel, and licorice root. But they didn’t stop there. This blend also features the holy tulsi trinity — rama, vana, and krishna — adding depth, warmth, and a beautifully herbaceous edge that sets this chai apart from the rest.

The result is a cup that’s rich, spicy, and unapologetically bold. It’s chai that doesn’t just show up — it shows off.

You wanna chai me?
Yeah, you do.
Drink this smooth ass chai.
Get fired up and win life.

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic toasted yerba mate, organic holy tulsi trinity, organic cinnamon, organic ginger, organic cardamom, organic fennel seeds, organic licorice root

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

Start your morning ritual with a jolt of unapologetic energy. Wake the Fuck Up is a bold loose leaf blend crafted with robust Assam black tea and rich black elderberries, creating a deep, fruity, full‑bodied cup that refuses to let you drag your feet. The Assam is sourced from a women‑run farm in India, a detail we love as much as the flavor itself.

This blend is crafted for mornings when you need a little extra fire, a little extra focus, and a whole lot of attitude. Pair it with ModestMix’s “Go The Fuck To Sleep” at night for the full chaotic‑balanced‑witch experience.

This tea doesn’t whisper encouragement. It shouts it proudly.

Get your fine ass energized.
You’re a winner.
Drink this badass tea.
Kick life in the face.
High. Five.

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic assam black tea, organic india black tea, organic black elderberries

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

SnickerBrutal is what happens when your favorite candy bar grows up, puts on a leather jacket, and decides to become coffee. This dangerously delicious whole‑bean blend delivers the decadent trio of creamy caramel, rich chocolate, and a subtle peanut finish, all wrapped around a bold, aromatic roast that hits like a sweet little punch to the taste buds.

It’s indulgent without being cloying, playful without being childish, and absolutely perfect for anyone who wants their morning brew to taste like rebellion dipped in caramel. Whether you’re grinding it fresh for a slow weekend pour‑over or powering through the weekday hellscape with a brütal cup of comfort, SnickerBrutal satisfies the sweet cravings and the caffeine cravings in one glorious hit.

Great for gifting to candy‑bar nostalgics, coffee snobs with a sense of humor, or anyone who believes life is better when your coffee tastes just a little bit sinful.

Coffee Info

• Format: Whole Bean
• Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
• Flavor Profile: Chocolate • Caramel • Peanut
• Roast: Medium & aromatic
• Suitable For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
• Ideal For: Fans of sweet‑leaning specialty coffees with a brütal twist

This is the cup that stares back. Dark & Deadly dives straight into the shadowy depths of flavor with a French‑roasted Sumatra that’s as bold as it is beautifully brooding. Sourced from Indonesia’s lush, volcanic landscapes, this full‑bodied brew delivers the kind of richness you feel in your bones—earthy, intense, and layered with dark chocolate and herbal undertones that unfold with every sip.

The velvety texture and naturally low acidity create a smooth, lingering finish reminiscent of a fog‑soaked night in Coffin Creek—mysterious, atmospheric, and just a little dangerous. For those who crave a cup with presence, this roast doesn’t whisper; it hits. Complex, robust, and deeply satisfying, it’s the perfect companion for late‑night scheming, early‑morning resurrection, or any moment that calls for a coffee with a serious kick.

Sip carefully—it’s Dark & Deadly for a reason.

Coffee Info

• Format: Whole Bean
• Roast: French Roast (Dark)
• Origin: Sumatra, Indonesia
• Flavor Profile: Earthy • Dark Chocolate • Herbal
• Body: Full and velvety
• Acidity: Naturally low
• Perfect For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
• Vibe: Bold, brooding, and unapologetically intense

Toxic Toffee is the kind of sweet danger you willingly walk into. This indulgent medium roast from Brazil blends the buttery richness of warm caramel with the cozy crunch of classic biscotti, creating a dessert‑leaning brew that feels like sneaking a treat before breakfast. Each sip delivers a smooth, sweet, toffee‑kissed flavor with just enough biscotti backbone to keep things interesting—an irresistible little “toxic” twist that keeps you coming back for more.

Perfect for anyone who loves their coffee playful, decadent, and just a touch wicked. Whether you’re brewing a lazy weekend cup or sweetening the weekday grind, Toxic Toffee turns every mug into a moment of caramel‑drenched bliss.

Coffee Info

• Format: Whole Bean
• Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
• Roast: Medium
• Bean Origin: Brazil
• Flavor Profile: Caramel • Biscotti • Sweet & Buttery
• Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
• Vibe: Dessert‑like, cozy, and dangerously delicious

Witches Brew casts its spell with an enchanting fusion of rich chocolate and tangy raspberry, swirling together like a potion perfected under a blood‑red moon. This medium‑roast Brazilian coffee strikes a mesmerizing balance between velvety sweetness and vibrant fruit, creating a cup that feels both decadent and delightfully wicked. Each sip is a bewitching experience—smooth, bright, and just tart enough to keep you under its delicious spell.

Perfect for anyone who craves a fruity twist on their brew or believes a little magic belongs in every morning ritual.

Coffee Info

• Format: Whole Bean
• Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
• Roast: Medium
• Origin: Brazil
• Flavor Profile: Chocolate • Raspberry • Sweet & Tart
• Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
• Vibe: Bewitching, fruity, and irresistibly enchanting

TransylManiac is a dark delight for those who crave a brew with depth, mystery, and just a hint of madness. This dark Vienna roast blends Brazilian and Peruvian beans into a cup that walks the line between bold richness and subtle light oils, creating a smooth, robust flavor that lingers like a midnight echo through Coffin Creek. Every sip is deep, satisfying, and just dangerous enough to keep you coming back for more.

This roast is also a celebration of community: $1 from every bag supports Rainbow Road, an LGBTQIA2S+ charity helping queer individuals find safety and freedom. The striking label—illustrated by Lee Howard and designed by Joanne and Bill Howard of Small Dog Designs—perfectly captures the brew’s brooding charm.

A cup of TransylManiac is more than coffee. It’s a nocturnal ritual, a gothic indulgence, and a small act of kindness brewed into every bag.

Coffee Info

• Format: Whole Bean
• Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
• Roast Level: Dark Vienna
• Bean Origin: Brazil + Peru
• Flavor Profile: Bold • Smooth • Darkly Rich
• Supports: $1 donated to Rainbow Road
• Label Art: Lee Howard; Design by Joanne & Bill Howard (Small Dog Designs)

Death by Chocolate is a blissfully decadent Bavarian chocolate–flavored whole bean coffee that turns every cup into a full‑on indulgence. This velvety brew is infused with the deep, creamy richness of luxurious Bavarian chocolate, creating a smooth, dessert‑like experience that feels downright sinful. Each sip is silky, sweet, and satisfyingly bold—an irresistible escape to chocolate heaven without ever picking up a fork.

Perfect for anyone who believes coffee should double as a treat, this blend transforms your morning ritual into a moment of pure, chocolate‑drenched delight.

Coffee Info

• Format: Whole Bean
• Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
• Roast Level: Medium
• Origin: Brazil
• Flavor Profile: Bavarian Chocolate • Creamy • Velvety
• Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
• Vibe: Indulgent, dessert‑like, and dangerously delicious

Never Sleep Again brews with an energy that borders on the supernatural. This dynamic hybrid roast blends 2 parts light roast with 1 part full city, creating a cup that’s bright, bold, and just a little unruly. The light roast brings lively acidity, natural sweetness, and a caffeine jolt that could rouse even the sleepiest creature of the night, while the full city roast adds rich, caramelized depth that smooths the edges without dimming the intensity.

Crafted for those who crave a cup with personality and power, Never Sleep Again delivers a brew that’s as spirited as it is satisfying. Whether you’re fueling late‑night creativity or greeting the dawn with wild ambition, this blend offers balance, bite, and a spark of mischief in every sip.

Coffee Info

Format: Whole Bean
Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
Roast Level: Light + Full City Hybrid
Bean Origin: Mexico & Peru
Flavor Profile: Bright Sweetness • Lively Acidity • Caramelized Richness
Body: Smooth, energetic, and boldly aromatic
Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
Vibe: Bold, bright, and a little wild

Northern Nightmare drifts in with a sweetness that feels almost otherworldly. This medium roast whole bean coffee is infused with the rich, comforting taste of pure Canadian maple, creating a cup that’s smooth, warm, and hauntingly delicious. The natural sweetness of the maple rises first, followed by the bold, grounded character of Brazilian beans—a balance that evokes crackling campfires, deep forests, and the quiet magic of the northern wilds.

Crafted for those who crave a cozy escape with a touch of dark charm, Northern Nightmare delivers a brew that’s both comforting and invigorating. Whether you’re braving icy mornings or simply seeking a sweet moment of calm, this blend wraps you in maple‑kissed warmth with every sip.

Coffee Info

Format: Whole Bean
Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
Roast Level: Medium
Bean Origin: Brazil
Flavor Profile: Canadian Maple • Sweet • Smooth Roast
Body: Warm, balanced, and gently sweet
Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
Vibe: Cozy, sweet, and a little bit haunting

The Ritual begins with an offering of pure indulgence. This medium roast whole bean coffee is infused with the rich sweetness of white chocolate and the buttery warmth of macadamia nut, creating a brew that’s wickedly smooth and irresistibly enchanting. Each sip unfolds in creamy, nutty waves, wrapping you in a comforting sweetness that feels almost ceremonial. The Brazilian beans provide a balanced, velvety foundation, allowing the dessert‑like flavors to shine without overwhelming the cup.

Crafted for those who savor a little luxury in their daily rites, The Ritual delivers a cup that’s both soothing and spellbinding. Whether you’re greeting the morning or conjuring a midnight moment of calm, this blend invites you to slow down, savor, and steep yourself in its delicious embrace… and let the ritual begin.

Coffee Info

Format: Whole Bean
Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
Roast Level: Medium
Bean Origin: Brazil
Flavor Profile: White Chocolate • Macadamia Nut • Sweet & Creamy
Body: Smooth, velvety, and indulgently balanced
Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
Vibe: Luxurious, comforting, and enchantingly smooth

Camp Blood delivers the full campfire s’mores experience with a deliciously spooky twist. This medium roast whole bean coffee is infused with the nostalgic flavors of rich chocolate, gooey marshmallow, and a whisper of graham cracker, creating a cup that tastes like toasting marshmallows over a crackling fire—minus the smoke, ash, and questionable campground noises. The Brazilian beans provide a smooth, balanced base that lets the dessert‑like flavors shine while still giving you a bold, satisfying brew.

Crafted for cozy nights, early‑morning chills, and anyone who loves their sweetness with a side of playful horror, Camp Blood turns every sip into a warm, fireside escape. It’s sweet, spooky, and just dangerous enough to keep things interesting—no cleanup required.

Coffee Info

Format: Whole Bean
Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
Roast Level: Medium
Bean Origin: Brazil
Flavor Profile: Chocolate • Marshmallow • Graham Cracker
Body: Smooth, sweet, and comfortingly bold
Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
Vibe: Nostalgic, cozy, and campfire‑spooky

Here’s Johnny bursts onto the scene with a flavor that’s warm, sweet, and just a little unhinged. This medium roast whole bean coffee is infused with the bold richness of brown sugar and the fiery comfort of cinnamon, creating a cup that’s sinisterly sweet, warmly spiced, and impossible to forget. The Brazilian beans provide a smooth, balanced base, letting the dessert‑like flavors kick down the door with full force while still delivering a clean, satisfying finish.

Crafted for those who like their mornings bold and their brews a touch deranged, Here’s Johnny brings a rush of cozy sweetness wrapped in just enough madness to keep things interesting. Whether you’re braving the dawn or fueling a late‑night creative frenzy, this blend is ready to wake the dead—and keep the chills coming.

Coffee Info

Format: Whole Bean
Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
Roast Level: Medium
Bean Origin: Brazil
Flavor Profile: Brown Sugar • Cinnamon • Sweet & Spiced
Body: Smooth, warm, and boldly aromatic
Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
Vibe: Comforting, spiced, and delightfully unhinged

Wasteland walks the line between rugged and refined, offering a cup that’s steady, smooth, and built for everyday survival. This medium roast whole bean coffee delivers a medium body, silky texture, and flavor notes of caramel, chocolate, and a subtle nutty finish. The roast level preserves the natural character of its Latin American beans while adding just enough depth to keep each sip satisfying and well‑rounded.

Crafted for those who want a dependable daily brew without sacrificing flavor, Wasteland is balanced, approachable, and endlessly drinkable. Whether you’re navigating the morning grind or fueling up for the long road ahead, this blend stands strong as a reliable companion in any terrain.

Coffee Info

Format: Whole Bean
Net Weight: 11.99 oz (340 g)
Roast Level: Medium
Bean Origin: Latin America
Flavor Profile: Caramel • Chocolate • Light Nutty Finish
Body: Medium, smooth, and well‑rounded
Ideal For: Drip, pour‑over, French press, cold brew
Vibe: Steady, balanced, and built for the everyday wanderer

Let’s clear something up: pussy comes from pusillanimous, meaning “cowardly.” So no, we’re not actually calling sick people weak — we’re just being cheeky assholes about it. And honestly? It’s hilarious. This blend makes the perfect “get well” gift for anyone who appreciates humor with their hydration.

Packed with botanicals traditionally used for comfort and soothing vibes, this caffeine‑free blend features yarrow, thyme, and even catnip — yes, the same herb that sends your kitty into orbit. Catnip is known for its calming qualities, so don’t be surprised if your feline friend tries to steal a sip. The flavor is smooth, herbal, and surprisingly cozy, making it a great companion for sniffles, sulking, or general sick‑day drama.

You’re sick, boo‑fucking‑hoo
Drink this comforting tea
Quit your bitchin’
P.S. sorry you don’t feel good

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic peppermint, organic ginger, hibiscus, organic rose hips, organic anise seed, organic yarrow flower, organic catnip leaf, organic thyme, organic marigold (calendula)

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.

When you need to slow down, warm up, and shut out the noise of the world, Zen as Fuck is the blend that wraps you in instant comfort. This caffeine‑free herbal mix delivers a peppery, grounding warmth that spreads through your whole body like a cozy blanket fresh from the dryer. It’s soothing, aromatic, and deeply satisfying — the kind of tea you reach for when you want to unwind without losing your edge.

Perfect for chilly nights, stressful days, or any moment when you need to breathe, reset, and reclaim your calm. One sip and you’ll feel that inner exhale you’ve been craving.

You breathe in strength
Breathe out all the bullshit
This om‑azing tea helps you
Zen the fuck out

Details

• Net wt: 2 oz (56 g), approx. 20 cups
• Caffeinated
• Organic ingredients
• Handcrafted in the Sierra Mountains
• Packaged in recycled materials

Ingredients

Organic holy basil trinity (rama, vana, krishna), organic ginger, organic gotu kola, organic cinnamon, organic lemon peel, organic peppercorn

Important Note

Statements from ModestMix regarding herbal and natural teas have not been evaluated by the FDA. These teas are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always read product labels carefully and consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or medical conditions.