This oversized brim beauty is perfect for the emotionally unavailable, the delightfully deadpan, and anyone who prefers their summer style with a touch of existential humor.

Made by Witchwood Bags from black straw and embroidered in crisp white thread, the hat measures 24 inches (61 cm) in circumference and includes an adjustable interior band so you can size it down for a perfect fit. The extra-large brim spans 6 inches (15.2 cm) wide, offering maximum shade and maximum sarcasm. The phrase "DEAD INSIDE" is stitched boldly across the front—a perfectly passive-aggressive accessory for beach days, backyard gatherings, or simply existing in public.

Whether you're radiating apathy or just want to make a scene in the shade, this hat has you covered—literally.

Please note: due to the gloriously oversized brim, some curling may occur during shipping. A quick pass with an iron or steamer will have it looking as good as new in no time.

For the sleep-deprived siren who still manages to slay at the shore…

The Dead Tired Black Cotton Beach Bag is your perfect plus-one for beach days fueled by caffeine, sarcasm, and vibes darker than your under-eye circles. With bold white text that calls out your exhausted excellence, it's ideal for anyone dragging themselves through summer like a stylish member of the undead.

Made from 100% black cotton and fully washable, this tote is built for sandy naps, ghosting responsibilities, and carrying more emotional baggage than snacks (but also snacks). Measuring approximately 18.5" W x 13" H x 4" D (47 cm x 33 cm x 10 cm), it can comfortably hold your essentials—sunscreen, shades, cursed lip balm, and the existential dread you packed for fun.

The high-contrast design pops against the midnight fabric, making your mood obvious without saying a word. Whether you're crashing on a beach towel or doom-scrolling in the sun, this bag is your vibe: barely hanging on, but doing it fashionably.

Running on fumes, resting in peace.

Paperback Journal

Whether you’re taking notes, writing down your thoughts or just sketching ideas; do it in style with one of these beautiful paperback journals.

• Available in Two Sizes: Small - 5.75”x8” & Large - 7.25”x10”
• Luxurious Soft-Touch Matte Laminate on Soft Paper Cover
• 100 Leaves of Lined Paper (200 Pages to Write On)
• Pages Are Perforated for Easy Tear-Out
• Corners Are Rounded to Prevent Bending

Our Delicate Spite dish towels make a great gift for the vengeance demon in your life. They're one size fits all, so no need to guess their size. Adds a dose of fun to any kitchen décor or home bar. They make a great housewarming gift or hostess gift too! In fact, maybe you see yourself as a future gorgon, a vengeful crow, or a future supervillain. Well snap up this towel set, Medusa, they're a must-have for your lair.

This 3 pack is perfect for having fresh clean tea towels on hand so you don't have to worry about drying your hands on the same dirty towel all week. Your friends and loved ones will chuckle at our funny original quotes paired with a gothic Victorian-inspired aesthetic.

Note: Our kitchen towels are handmade and may contain very minor variations in the fabric, such as small flecks of thread. These variations are typically very subtle and part of the tea towel manufacturing process.

What's included:

"Remember mild inconvenience is temporary spite is forever" dish towel

"Once I replace my hair with serpents and develop a stare that turns people to stone it's all over for my haters" dish towel

"Not to brag, but I am currently living my villain origin story" dish towel

About our dish towels:

• Absorbent high quality
• 100% cotton
• 130 thread count
• Hemmed on all sides
• Machine washable
• Hand printed with water-based inks
• Measures 19"x28"

Make a bold statement with the "Do No Harm Take No Shit" Enamel Lapel Pin, showcasing your attitude and personality. This pin features a coiling black snake with glossy metal accents. Across the snake's body, the empowering message "Do No Harm Take No Shit" is displayed, conveying self-respect and strength.

Perfect for adorning your jacket, backpack, hat, or any accessory, this pin is ideal for snake lovers, fans of sarcasm, and anyone who believes in standing up for themselves. Measuring 1-1/2" high, this exquisite pin is crafted from durable alloy metal and glossy enamel, ensuring it remains vibrant and resilient. Show off your style and embrace empowerment with this striking enamel lapel pin.

This delightfully deadpan tote is perfect for the unbothered, the over-it, and anyone whose patience has officially left the building.

The Don't Pray for Me Tote Bag by Witchwood Bags features a bold white text design—because sometimes, you just have to let it go (with flair). Made from 100% black cotton and fully washable, this bag is as practical as it is petty, perfect for errands, day trips, or carrying the emotional baggage you no longer care about.

Measuring approximately 18.5" W x 13" H x 4" D (47 cm x 33 cm x 10 cm), it's roomy enough for snacks, spellbooks, or the receipts you're no longer interested in showing. The high-contrast print pops against the black fabric, making your mood crystal clear without saying a word.

Whether you're off to the market or just done with everything, this bag is your new favorite form of passive-aggressive self-expression.

Warmth welcome. Unsolicited blessings optional. The “Don’t Pray for Me” Black Knit Beanie by Witchwood Bags pairs bold white embroidered lettering with a black knit cap for a clear statement of independence.

Made from thick, soft 100% acrylic knit, this stretchy unisex beanie fits most head sizes. Pull it on for a frosty morning commute, an afternoon wander, or a coffee run with your boundaries already spelled out. Cozy without compromising your point of view.

• 100% acrylic knit
• Black with white “Don’t Pray for Me” embroidery
• Soft, stretchy fit for most head sizes
• Unisex knit beanie by Witchwood Bags

Discover the mystique of ancient scripts with our Elder Futhark Runes Square Throw Pillow. Featuring the oldest runic alphabets used by Germanic tribes, these symbols of power are believed to hold magical properties. The bold white runes against a black background create a striking visual contrast.

Perfect for man cave decor or as a gift for Viking enthusiasts, this pillow adds a sense of ancient wisdom and warrior spirit to any space. Whether you appreciate pagan symbols or the allure of Norse history, this throw pillow is a must-have. Let the ancient runes speak to the strength within you.

Throw Pillows

Add a personal touch to your space with amazing broadcloth pillows. These pillows are super soft and durable which means they are a fully functional piece of art that are meant to be used.

• Durable Polyester Broadcloth Fabric That is Soft To The Touch
• Pillow Insert Has Polyester/Polyfill
• Fully Concealed Beige Zipper With Metal Pull
• Dye-Sublimated Print Using Non-Solvent Water-Based Inks With No VOCs
• Spot Treatment with Damp Cloth; Tumble Dry

For the delightfully eccentric, unapologetically odd, and proudly offbeat beachgoer…

The Embracing My Weirdness Bat Black Cotton Beach Bag is a love letter to the misfits, moonhowlers, and magnificent weirdos who know that normal is overrated. Featuring bold white text and a charming bat design, it pairs spooky-cute style with fearless self-expression.

Made from 100% black cotton and fully washable, this tote is built to carry sunscreen, snacks, bat plushies, glitter, and vibes that don't conform to any mold. Sized at approximately 18.5" W x 13" H x 4" D (47 cm x 33 cm x 10 cm), it's roomy enough for beach essentials and the unexpected.

The high-contrast design makes your quirky banner pop against the dark fabric—because being different deserves a bold entrance. Whether you're picnicking under cloud cover or reading cryptid fanfic by the waves, this bag embraces your weirdness with style, sincerity, and a little bit of bite.

Let your freak flag fly.

This witchy essential is perfect for history buffs, Salem stans, and anyone who carries a little ancestral spite with their sunscreen.

The Established 1692 Beach Bag by Witchwood Bags is a large black cotton tote that nods to the infamous year of the Salem witch trials—bold, defiant, and steeped in dark legacy. Made from 100% cotton and fully washable, it's ready for beach days, book hauls, protest marches, or everyday errands with a side of historical sass.

Measuring approximately 18.5" W x 13" H x 4" D (47 cm x 33 cm x 10 cm), it offers plenty of space for your essentials, whether you're packing spellbooks, snacks, or a grudge or two. The crisp white print stands out against the black fabric, making a statement that's both stylish and subversive.

Whether you're hexing the patriarchy or just heading to the shore, this bag carries the weight of history—with room to spare.

A ritual of cleansing, softened by nature. Our Handmade Liquid Soap and Body Wash is a castile blend crafted with organic oils, organic aloe, and just enough alchemy to feel like a spell. Coconut oil conjures a rich lather, while sunflower and olive oils lend a gentle, silken touch. Castor oil adds a flourish of fluffy bubbles, and organic aloe leaves behind a hydrating veil.

Ever Flowing Stream: This complex fragrance blends sharp mountain air with earthy patchouli, warm musk, spice, tobacco, and a touch of vanilla. The result is a scent that feels like a walk along a stream in a mountain forest: crisp, grounding, and subtly sweet.

Crafted for everyday rituals, this vegan soap produces a rich lather that leaves skin feeling refreshed and nourished.

Size: 8 fl oz / 236 mL

Ingredients: Water, Organic Sunflower Oil, Organic Coconut Oil, Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Organic Castor Oil, Potassium Hydroxide, Citric Acid, Organic Aloe, Fragrance or Essential Oil

This handmade bar soap is scented with a complex blend of sharp mountain air, earthy patchouli, musk, spice, tobacco and vanilla. This soap smells like a walk along a stream in a mountain forest. This soap is great for face or body, with a rich lather in a long-lasting, dense bar. Approximately 5 oz.

Due to extremely high demand this item goes out of stock occasionally for short periods of time. We will notify you if your order processing is delayed.

Highlights:
• All-Natural
• Sustainably-Sourced Palm Oil
• Vegan

Full ingredients:
Saponified Oils (Olive Oil, Organic Palm Oil, Organic Coconut Oil, Organic Shea Butter), Fragrance, Titanium Dioxide, Kaolin Clay, Ultramarine, Chromium Oxide, Mica, Iron Oxide

Why be the girl of his dreams when you can be the girl of his nightmares? Our Exquisite Nightmare kitchen towel set pairs feminine rage with a delicate floral aesthetic. It makes a great gift for the feminist in your life who is just a little bit terrifying.

This 3 pack features a big stunning floral print paired with our original quotes. They look great folded on display or laying flat. Each towel is hand printed using water-based inks that produce a durable vibrant finish.

Note: Our kitchen towels are handmade and may contain very minor variations in the fabric, such as small flecks of thread. These variations are typically very subtle and part of the tea towel manufacturing process.

What's included:

• "Don't be a replacement for his mother. Be a replacement for the thing under his bed that he was afraid of as a child — mysterious, elusive, and probably from a hell dimension." Dish Towel

• "Normalize unleashing a malevolent poltergeist on men who won't take “no” for an answer." Dish Towel

• "In a world where you can be anything, be the terror in the dark who brings nightmares to men who call their female colleagues ‘babe.’" Dish Towel

About our dish towels:

• Absorbent high quality
• 100% cotton
• 130 thread count
• Hemmed on all sides
• Machine washable
• Hand printed with water-based inks
• Measures 19"x28"

Fairy Riding a Bat (1921)
by Ida Rentoul Outhwaite (Australia, 1888-1960)

Ida Rentoul Outhwaite was an Australian illustrator of children's books, whose work mostly depicted magical creatures such as elves and fairies. Well before modern fairy-tale iterations saw Frozen's Anna and Elsa crowned as unexpected feminist icons, she was celebrating the power of the feminine in subtle ways. The drawings are often emotionally quite intense, depicting a fairy or a feminine child floating above a rocky landscape or scary deep sea, without fear. 

Tote Bag

Our heavy-duty tote bags are practical and high-quality accessories that provide comfort with style. Great for the beach or out in town, this durable tote is made from durable and reliable materials that are made to last. This stylish bag is a fashionable accessory for school, sports, shopping, travel, or anywhere life takes you.

• 100% Polyester
• 18"x17"x3.5" (handle height 14")
• Boxed corners
• Black cotton handles
• Black lining

Add a touch of enchantment to your home with our "Fairy Riding a Bat" Throw Pillow, featuring the whimsical artwork of Ida Rentoul Outhwaite. This captivating design showcases a fairy gracefully riding a bat, set against a dreamy backdrop. Crafted from 100% polyester microfiber, the fabric is soft, durable, and wrinkle-resistant, ensuring both comfort and longevity. The hidden zipper closure allows for easy insertion and removal of the pillow insert, maintaining a seamless and elegant look.

Throw Pillows

Add a personal touch to your space with amazing broadcloth pillows. These pillows are super soft and durable which means they are a fully functional piece of art that are meant to be used.

• Durable Polyester Broadcloth Fabric That is Soft To The Touch
• Pillow Insert Has Polyester/Polyfill
• Fully Concealed Beige Zipper With Metal Pull
• Dye-Sublimated Print Using Non-Solvent Water-Based Inks With No VOCs
• Spot Treatment with Damp Cloth; Tumble Dry

For when you're held together by vibes and caffeine.

This enamel lapel pin features a tidy little pile of bones beside the phrase "Falling Apart"—a cheeky tribute to those of us who are doing our best, even if our skeletons disagree. Equal parts macabre and hilarious, it's the perfect badge of honor for the beautifully unhinged.

• Glossy enamel on durable metal
• Measures approximately 1" across
• Secures with a butterfly clasp
• Great for goths, burnout survivors, and anyone embracing the collapse with style

Stick it on your jacket, bag, or emotional support hoodie. Because falling apart never looked so good.

Stay warm. Remain untamed. The “Feral” Black Knit Beanie by Witchwood Bags pairs stark white embroidery with a black knit cap for cold days and an independent streak.

Made from thick, soft 100% acrylic knit, this stretchy unisex beanie fits most head sizes. Pull it on for a frosty woodland walk, a city wander, or a morning when conversation can wait until after coffee. A little warmth without domesticating your style.

• 100% acrylic knit
• Black with white “Feral” embroidery
• Soft, stretchy fit for most head sizes
• Unisex knit beanie by Witchwood Bags

Civilized is optional. The “Feral” Embroidered Dad Hat by Witchwood Bags puts your untamed side into words, pairing embroidered lettering with a classic black cap.

Made from a breathable cotton blend, this unisex dad hat features an adjustable back clasp for an easy everyday fit. Pull it on for a late coffee run, a wandering afternoon, or any occasion that calls for minimal small talk. A little attitude, no explanation required.

• Black dad hat with “Feral” embroidered lettering
• Breathable cotton-blend fabric
• Adjustable back clasp
• Unisex style by Witchwood Bags

A warm, subtle glimmer of dawn captured in a refined, everyday ritual. First Red Rays unfolds like the quiet moment just before sunrise, where the air feels still, grounded, and full of possibility. Built around the deep, resinous elegance of oud, the fragrance settles into a smooth, earthy base, gently enriched with rich tobacco tones and a hint of dark sweetness that lingers close to the skin. Soft and intentional, it never overwhelms—rather, it glows softly, evoking calm strength, understated depth, and the first gentle light breaking through the horizon.

Hand‑blended as a smooth, concentrated perfume oil, this roll‑on is designed for long‑lasting wear without overwhelming the senses. Apply to pulse points for a fragrance that lingers close, creating a darker, richer, more atmospheric aura wherever you go.

Highlights

• Vegan
• Naturally derived ingredients
• Handcrafted in small batches

Ingredients

Perfumer’s Alcohol, Natural Fragrance Oil, Distilled Water

Safety

• Flammable. Keep away from heat and flame.
• Avoid eyes and face.

A warm, subtle glimmer of dawn captured in a refined, everyday ritual. First Red Rays unfolds like the quiet moment just before sunrise, where the air feels still, grounded, and full of possibility. Built around the deep, resinous elegance of oud, the fragrance settles into a smooth, earthy base, gently enriched with rich tobacco tones and a hint of dark sweetness that lingers close to the skin. Soft and intentional, it never overwhelms—rather, it glows softly, evoking calm strength, understated depth, and the first gentle light breaking through the horizon.

Handmade to be light yet lasting, this room and body spray is perfect for refreshing linens, clothing, upholstery, or as a personal mist for those who prefer a more intimate scent experience. It adds a sense of quiet sophistication to any space, transforming everyday surroundings into something warm, balanced, and thoughtfully composed.

Highlights

• Vegan
• Naturally derived ingredients
• Handcrafted in small batches

Ingredients

Perfumer’s Alcohol, Natural Fragrance Oil, Distilled Water

Safety

• Flammable. Keep away from heat and flame.
• Avoid eyes and face. Test on fabrics first.

A warm, subtle glimmer of dawn captured in a refined, everyday ritual. First Red Rays unfolds like the quiet moment just before sunrise, where the air feels still, grounded, and full of possibility. Built around the deep, resinous elegance of oud, the fragrance settles into a smooth, earthy base, gently enriched with rich tobacco tones and a hint of dark sweetness that lingers close to the skin. Soft and intentional, it never overwhelms—rather, it glows softly, evoking calm strength, understated depth, and the first gentle light breaking through the horizon.

Handmade to be light yet enduring, this beard oil is designed to soften, condition, and subtly scent without feeling heavy or greasy. It absorbs easily into both beard and skin, helping to reduce dryness while leaving behind a refined, balanced fragrance. Perfect for daily use, it brings a sense of quiet sophistication to your grooming routine—elevating the everyday with a warm, thoughtfully composed finish.

Highlights

• Vegan
• Naturally derived ingredients
• Handcrafted in small batches

Ingredients

Apricot Kernel Oil, Coconut Oil, Grape Seed Oil, Sweet Almond Oil, Jojoba Oil, Hemp Oil, Abyssinian Seed Oil, Argan Oil, Fragrance, Rosemary Leaf Extract

Safety

• Flammable. Keep away from heat and flame.
• Avoid eyes.
• If inflammation occurs, discontinue use immediately.

Handcrafted for smooth control and deep nourishment, First Red Rays Handmade Vegan Beard Styling Balm provides a reliable hold while keeping your beard soft, conditioned, and effortlessly styled. This plant-based formula helps tame stray hairs, define your shape, and lock in lasting moisture without weighing your beard down—perfect for daily grooming with a touch of refined sophistication.

Inspired by the quiet beauty of dawn, First Red Rays unfolds with a rich and captivating blend centered around the timeless elegance of oud. Deep, resinous woods create a smooth, earthy foundation, while warm tobacco notes lend richness and character. A subtle trace of dark sweetness lingers beneath the surface, adding depth and balance to this understated yet memorable fragrance.

Calm, confident, and undeniably distinctive, First Red Rays captures the peaceful moment when darkness gives way to light. Sophisticated and grounding, it evokes quiet strength, steady purpose, and the promise of a new beginning with every use.

Now included is a matching stainless steel pick, designed for clean, easy scraping and precise portioning of the balm—an elevated grooming tool that complements your daily ritual.

Highlights

• Vegan
• Naturally derived ingredients
• Handcrafted in small batches

Ingredients

Perilla Seed Oil, Candelilla Wax, Shea Butter, Argan Oil, Tribehenin, Babassu Oil, Jojoba Oil, Sunflower Wax, Fragrance, Vitamin E

Safety

• Flammable. Keep away from heat and flame.
• Avoid eyes.
• If irritation occurs, discontinue use immediately.

Add a touch of whimsy and charm to your home with our Flying Coffin Throw Pillow. Featuring a delightful pattern of coffins with bat wings soaring against a black background, this pillow brings a playful twist to the gothic aesthetic. Ideal for unique and quirky decor, it combines the mysterious allure of the night with fun flair.

Perfect for any room, the Flying Coffin Pillow offers comfort and a touch of gothic whimsy. Embrace the playful side of the dark and add a unique piece to your home decor collection.

Throw Pillows

Add a personal touch to your space with amazing broadcloth pillows. These pillows are super soft and durable which means they are a fully functional piece of art that are meant to be used.

• Durable Polyester Broadcloth Fabric That is Soft To The Touch
• Pillow Insert Has Polyester/Polyfill
• Fully Concealed Beige Zipper With Metal Pull
• Dye-Sublimated Print Using Non-Solvent Water-Based Inks With No VOCs
• Spot Treatment with Damp Cloth; Tumble Dry

Step into the mystical realm with our "Fortune Teller" Throw Pillow, adorned with hand-drawn illustrations of candles, scrolls, spell books, crystal balls, writing quills, divination runes, dreamcatchers, and the sun.

This enchanting pattern in light gray against a deep black background blends the arcane with the aesthetic, making it perfect for astrology and divination enthusiasts, dark academia decor, and whimsical goth or witch decor lovers. Crafted with quality materials, this pillow is both durable and comfortable, adding a touch of everyday magic and timeless charm to any space.

Throw Pillows

Add a personal touch to your space with amazing broadcloth pillows. These pillows are super soft and durable which means they are a fully functional piece of art that are meant to be used.

• Durable Polyester Broadcloth Fabric That is Soft To The Touch
• Pillow Insert Has Polyester/Polyfill
• Fully Concealed Beige Zipper With Metal Pull
• Dye-Sublimated Print Using Non-Solvent Water-Based Inks With No VOCs
• Spot Treatment with Damp Cloth; Tumble Dry

Step into the mystical realm with our "Fortune Teller" square throw pillow, adorned with hand-drawn illustrations of candles, scrolls, spell books, crystal balls, writing quills, divination runes, dreamcatchers, and the sun.

This enchanting pattern in purple against an off white background blends the arcane with the aesthetic, making it perfect for astrology and divination enthusiasts, dark academia decor, and whimsical goth or witch decor lovers. Crafted with quality materials, this pillow is both durable and comfortable, adding a touch of everyday magic and timeless charm to any space.

Throw Pillows

Add a personal touch to your space with amazing broadcloth pillows. These pillows are super soft and durable which means they are a fully functional piece of art that are meant to be used.

• Durable Polyester Broadcloth Fabric That is Soft To The Touch
• Pillow Insert Has Polyester/Polyfill
• Fully Concealed Beige Zipper With Metal Pull
• Dye-Sublimated Print Using Non-Solvent Water-Based Inks With No VOCs
• Spot Treatment with Damp Cloth; Tumble Dry

A juicy descent into fragrant delirium. Fruits of Lunacy blends ripe pomegranate and crisp pear for a scent that’s equal parts luscious and unhinged. Poppy seed exfoliators stir the waters while rich moisturizers soften and smooth, leaving your skin nourished and your senses deliciously disoriented. It’s a bath-time ritual for those who revel in the surreal.

Each bomb averages 4.5 oz and is about 2.5" in diameter. 

Ingredients: Sodium Bicarbonate, Citric Acid, Arrowroot Powder, Poppy Seeds, Fragrance, Water, Sunflower Oil, Polysorbate 80, Yellow Lake 6, Isopropyl Alcohol